Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Destination KNOWN!

Countdown to departure: 11 days.  
After many months of “maybe Singapore/maybe Hong Kong no, scratch that!  Maybe Singapore/maybe Sydney.  Sydney. Singapore. Sydney most likely. No, Singapore most likely. No...where in the heck are we moving?!?!” We finally have our destination!  Drumroll please...we’re moving to...DENVER!  Yep, it was door number three apparently.  
To be honest we’re still in shock.  It’s so totally not what we were expecting.  Bridger summed up how all of us were feeling quite well.  After a fist pump and an excited, “YES!” in response to our location announcement, his face clouded over and he proclaimed “But I wasn’t quite ready to be done with our grand adventure!” We tried to help him see life as the grand adventure.  Life lived anywhere in the world.  We reminded him about all the adventures to be had in the mountains camping and skiing.  About baseball and American schools. About the yummy foods he’s missed and all of the friends and family waiting there.  In the end though he cried quite a bit.  “Why does the COMPANY get to say where we live?  Why can’t we live anywhere in the world that we want to?  I love Colorado to visit for a holiday, but I’ve lived there before. I want to try out a new country!”  When we asked what country he’d choose if he could live anywhere he wanted he sighed, thought for a moment and exclaimed, “I don’t know.  Denmark?”  
I sure can relate.  I’ve taken a fancy to this world traveling stuff.  I struggle with feeling like there’s still SO much here we haven’t seen or done.  So much close by in Europe that is so worth exploration and time.  Leaving here seems hard on a lot of levels--but the friends we’ll miss and the adventures still left to be had are the two biggies. Somehow it seemed easier--I’m not sure why--to leave and head into another great unknown.  Going back to what is more ‘known’ feels like short circuiting the ‘grand adventure.’  
At the same time I’m so stoked to go back to Denver too.  I’ve started a ‘Top 10 Things I’ll Miss About England” list, but in honor of our move and finally having a destination here are the 
“Top Ten Things I’m Looking Forward to About Denver”
(in no particular order)
  1. Buffalo Burger. Red meat in general really.  The English specialize more in lamb and pork.  Having grown up in the Western United States I had no idea we had it so good when it came to beef.  I cannot wait for a really good burger.  Mmmm...makes my mouth water!
  2. Country Music. You can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl. I know I will lose some of your respect with this admission, but boy howdy do I miss me some country tunes!
  3. Mexican Food. Green chilies from the Farmer’s Market frozen and used for Green Chili Stew all winter. Tacos from D' Corazon. Blue corn tortilla chips.  Good salsa. Tamales with mole. Lola’s. Chipotle! All of the food my mom cooked growing up I would describe as ‘Mexican Fusion’. I have REALLY missed the Mexican food!
  4. Margaritas.  The Brits are really good at beer. I adore PIMMs.  But I haven’t had a decent marg for ages.  Are you noticing a food-based theme here?
  5. Baseball. Especially the Rockies and the Anderberg boys. We had already decided to spend 5-6 weeks in Denver in June so I had signed my boys up for Little League.  I can’t wait to be THAT mom in the stands!  Yippee!  Plus we’ll be in town with our beloved Rockies.  Baseball games at Coors Field or on the couch (perhaps with a hamburger and a margarita thrown in!) I can’t wait!
  6. Good haircuts. My sister is an absolute genius. I have so missed her artistic presence in the hair around here--mine, my husband’s, and my boy’s.  I’m going to be cute again!
  7. Date nights! We’ll have babysitters close again! WOOP WOOP! Here in England almost everyone has their parents or family members watch their kiddos. So no one I know knows anyone to pay to do the job. I can’t wait for both the paid and the grandparental types of babysitters. YAY!
  8. The mountains.  Not just because I’ll now know which way is west again either.  There’s nothing like the Rockies on the horizon.  It just makes me feel safe and grounded.  It’ll be so good to have them in the distance but even better to get up there as often as we can!  Camping anyone? Hiking? Skiing?
  9. My Friends! So many friends to go back to there. I am so looking forward to beers around the backyard firepit. 
  10. MY FAMILY! I can’t wait to be near my parents and my sisters again. Lunches. Movie nights. Being able to call my mom when I’m sick. Watching baseball with my dad. Plus I’ve had two cousins and their hubbies move to Denver while we’ve been away. I. Am. Stoked.
So there you have it. We finally ‘know.’ Watch this space as the adventure continues!

Monday, 16 May 2011

The Countdown Begins...

Countdown to departure: 13 days.  Whoa.  Could barely drag myself out of bed this morning in spite of the fact that the baby slept through the night.  Half of me was super-motivated, “I’m going to blitz the house!  Tidy things up, wrap up the organization, and clean one more time before the movers get here next Monday!  It’ll be great!”  Then  I was going to go traipsing about in London and the countryside for the rest of the week.  Alas, in spite of working my butt off all day I didn’t even finish the kitchen.  Perhaps I should have done what the other half of me wanted and gone back to bed and pulled the covers over my head.  
This is hard.  I don’t do well with this unknown stuff.  It’s so clear I need a lesson in being in the moment.  Or...well, I’m getting a lesson.  So far I’m pretty sure my grade is a D minus--not an F perhaps, but pretty darned close.  I keep living in the moment we arrive.  The moment we find a house.  The moment I get schools squared away.  I live in the moment where we can’t find a good house too.  The moment the only school is a crappy one where the teachers are mean and the lunch lady tries to poison the kids.  I live in the moment where we end up on the streets.  Or worse--a tiny 2 bedroom basement apartment with a leaky ceiling and no heat. Yes, I am a touch dramatic.  But dude, the internal monologue is a real doozy these days. Sure, it’s silly--I have a oodles of evidence that the world is a friendly place and that everything will work out swimmingly.  The bottom line is that I’m over it.  I’m tired.  I’ve been cheerful and chilled-out and cool about this whole ‘we’ll get there when we get there and we don’t know where ‘where’ is but it’ll be grand!’ thing.  Cheerful and chilled-out is one thing--brave is quite another. My inner-control freak is freaking out.  
Scott asked me today what would be gained by knowing.  What would it change if I knew?  If I knew where we would live.  If I knew where the boys would be going to school.  If I would things be different right now? How would I be planning or acting or what would I be doing differently? After I told him I sort of wanted to punch him in the face I considered what he said.  I don’t know...I’d stop obsessing I guess.  I’d stop worrying. I’d work on plans for the one scenario instead of making wildly obsessive plans about the 784 fabricated scenarios running through my head. I’m sure knowing would make me stop obsessing.  Right?  Right?  Don’t you think? Come on, back me up here.
Bridger came in a little bit ago--still up nearly two hours after he went to bed. “Mom?  My brain is too full.  I can’t shut my mind off.”  Poor kid. I have no idea where he gets it.